Banishing Bitterness to Find Happily Ever After
"Does your husband come home to a quarrelsome wife or a wife who has a sparkle in her smile when she looks at him? (pg. 82). This evening, he came home to a quarrelsome wife. Actually, I wasn't so much quarrelsome as I was tired and moody. After a long day with a fussy baby, I wanted a break and quickly became rather bitter about rarely getting one. I later opened the Women Living Well book to begin writing on the next chapter and was struck by it's subject matter- bitterness in marriage. Oh dear. If a book can call you out for poor behavior, then it just did!
Bitterness has appeared in our marriage many times (I almost always being the carrier). It's a hard ingrained response in me, but one that I am constantly attempting to correct. I've discovered that at the root of bitterness is often a "what about me?" mentality. Consequently, a critical and cranky disposition arises when I feel that I haven't been given equal consideration and/or my feelings were hurt. Grace and forgiveness are lost as the offense is held onto tightly. When a conflict arises again in marriage (because it will), those old hardened and bitter places resurface. The matter and marriage get nowhere positive.
Courtney suggests a wonderful solution. She says, "Whenever I start to feel critical or bitter towards my husband, I must choose instead to forgive my husband and to pray for him. I confess my sin of bitterness and ask the Lord to give me eyes to see my husband as He sees him" (pg. 88). Another solution is to replace every negative thought with a positive. Little by little bitterness can be weeded out so that the marriage can flourish!
Spend time now in prayer. Be honest with the Lord about any unforgiveness you may be harboring in your heart toward your husband. If you are carrying any, confess it and repent. Then, go to your husband and ask his forgiveness too.
*Note: Reviving Homemaking is not an affiliate of www.womenlivingwell.org or the publishing companies (Thomas Nelson & HarperCollins Christian Publishing). No compensation has been received by either of these entities for the review of the book. All opinions are my own.
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