Book Series: Women Living Well - Chapter 17

Making Your Home a Haven

     "Home." What sentiments does that arouse within you? Is it a place you delight in and eagerly anticipate returning to at times. Or, is it a place you detest and returning met with fierce resistance? The home has a powerful impact on one's life. I'm mindful of the kind of home my child will grow up in, and if it is/will be the kind of place that will bring joy to his life long after he is grown and moved out. 

     I want my child to think fondly of his home, and enjoy being here. I want my husband to find rest and joy at home upon his return at the end of the day. I also want friends to feel welcomed in our home. It's tempting to think that more pleasing decor or elements of entertainment would make the home a haven. However, even with all these elements in place a certain depth would remain missing. I could have all the decorative elements, utmost style and entertaining gadgets or toys in our home, but the space would remain empty without meaning presence of people. 

     That presence begins with me. Courtney says it perfectly when she says, "It is not the things we have or the things we do not have that make our homes a haven. It's you ... you are the key to making a home a haven" (pg. 173). My demeanor contributes significantly to the well-being of my home. As Courtney says, "When I am tense, the rest of the family is tense. When I am crabby, my family is crabby right back at me. I want to have a peaceful home, and I have learned that it starts with me (pg. 172). My attitude, energy and overall character will either build up or tear down our home.

      I'm not always mindful of this truth. Today was a prime example as it was one of those days which started two steps behind and then battled exhaustion, stress and meltdowns. My attitude, energy and overall character stunk, and consequently so did my home. Fortunately, this goal of a positive and pleasing presence within the home is always one that can be worked towards. Tomorrow is yet another opportunity to make my home a haven for my family and guests. 

    

         Follow link to download a copy of the series schedule

*Note: Reviving Homemaking is not an affiliate of www.womenlivingwell.org or the publishing companies (Thomas Nelson & HarperCollins Christian Publishing). No compensation has been received by either of these entities for the review of the book. All opinions are my own. 

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Building the Home: Laying Bricks of Protection

Image used with permission per CC Attribution License.
Copyright Tami Traylor "Traylorillo." Editing by Reviving Homemaking

     “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Proverbs 14:1). As I examine this verse once more, I note how responsibility and continuity are demonstrated by both women, though each does so in an opposing manner. Due to their contrasting approaches, the interaction between the wise and foolish woman is often hostile and counter-productive. Ultimately, if the wise woman is to choose to continue to build her home then she must do so with the bricks of protection against harmful or foolish influences.

Continue reading at The Focused Homemaker


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(Your name (first name + last initial) and comment may be used in the upcoming Reviving Homemaking ebook. If you wish for your name to not be included, then please simply use "anonymous" or "guest." Thank you for your input!)

Selecting Background Noise For the Home

        

          Studies have shown background noise to have an affect on attitudes and behavior. In essence, the more active the sound the more activity generated within the mind and behavior. Similarly, calmer and more melodic the music generates less activity and promotes relaxation. Retailers and other places of business have long used this research in determining the type of music to be played. Trendy clothing retailers will likely prefer to play fast beat and high energy music to create a sense of excitement and even connect the shopper to a fashion runway setting. Doctors offices typically play classical or easy listening styles of music to calm anxiety that may be present in their patients. Places with a lot of visitors and commotion may also use classical music to ease the chaos. Selecting the type of music or background noise is critical but so is the level. Too much of a background noise produces the opposite affect. For instance, classical music produces a calm affect but not when played too loudly. Too little background noise results in individuals becoming uncomfortable and seeking to escape the silence. 

        The home environment is similar in demonstrating the affect background noise has on attitude and behavior. I've personally noticed that what I listen to even if only played in the background has an affect on my attitude, concentration and productivity. The absence of noise is uncomfortable as I am highly conditioned from the loud modern day life to expect some degree of input at all times. The simplest response is to turn on the television, movie, radio or log onto social media. However, those resources are rarely beneficial in moving me forward in life in a positive direction. They also have a tendency to turn into needless noise themselves.  

        Over time I've come to rely on a handful of sources for adding more favorable background noise to my home during the days. One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:8 which states: "Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy --think about such things." I know that for me I'm more likely to think in this manner if I have made an effort to put such content into my mind. The effort is not as much about blocking any and every poor influence, but to use greater discretion as to what will be primary. For me, and in my home, I desire for the noise to be uplifting and edifying while also spiritually and intellectually challenging.

     For the most part, I have my Pandora Praise & Worship station playing hymns. I'm not opposed to contemporary worship songs, and, in fact, I do enjoy many of them. However, I love a good hymn! Many more of those speak to my heart. At times throughout the day I find a moment or situation that brings a lyric to mind. How often I have sung "I need thee every hour!" A few favorites on my Pandora station include:
          Journey: A Praise Offering [album] by David Carnes
          Adoration: Solo Piano Hymns [album] by David Nevue
          Beginnings [album] by Fernando Ortega
          Hymns: A Place of Worship [album] by 4Him
          Greatest Hymns [album] by Selah

      One aspect of seemingly everything transitioning to an online presence is the ability to find great sermons and messages. My top favorites are Greg Pinkner from a program called Crossroads held at Fellowship Church in Tennessee and Andy Stanley of North Point Ministries in Georgia. I had the privilege of attending Crossroads while in college. I enjoyed that Pinkner had a very unforced sense of humor, and taught Bible-based lessons on a college level. Even though I'm no longer in college, I still tune in to his messages and they still challenge and convict me. I really enjoy reading the Bible and learning on matters of faith, and his messages support that endeavor. Andy Stanley's messages are, to me, of a similar strong foundation. He also mixes humor with more serious content. He has a great real-life application approach without turning into a self-motivation talk.

      It's been great to listen to messages and music online while doing the mundane household activities like dishes and laundry. I've also played them while working on long projects, especially sewing projects. I'm not opposed to non-Christian media, and frequently part take of them as well. The above mentioned sources are, however, my favorites for accomplishing the goals of providing calm and edification. I've found that in the noise of everyday life, there are means of issuing calm. Even greater is the ability to for spiritual growth in and praise to the Lord!

*Note: Reviving Homemaking is not affiliated with any of the sites, companies, products or individuals mentioned or included in the links, and was not asked to include or recommend them in this post. (I simply like what they have to offer!)

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Meaning of Home

Source

            The boxes and furniture have been delivered to your new home and now set in a chaotic array in each room. In spite of the mess, I see the beauty of potential. My creative mind busily composes images of the arrangements, textiles, and unique pieces that will offer such comfort and attractiveness to these open spaces and blank walls before me. I eagerly wait to add the many touches that will help to transform the generic townhome unit into something much more special- our home.

            Yet, even with all these elements in place a certain depth will remain missing. I could have all the decorative elements and the utmost style in our home, but without the company of friends and family the space will remain empty. The essence of a thriving home is more than the materials that comprise it; it’s the people who join together within that space.

            This notion is not new, and is, in fact, a commonly shared piece of wisdom. However, to some degree “home” remains to have a negative connotation. Home is the place where we can take refuge from the outside world, it’s our coveted storage space for all our dearly held personal belongings, it’s the place we get “stuck” in when we have nowhere else to go or no one with whom to go out. And for some, home is filled with so many unsettling moments or people that associating it as a good in life can be a challenge. With so many poor definitions of “home” existing, creating it into something completely different may seem daunting. It’s not! Each new day is a new opportunity to believe in the potential of home. There is so much depth and meaningfulness that can be instill into our homes!

            My heart for our home is for it to be a place that not only brings comfort to my husband and I, but also to others. Similarly, our space and possessions can serve others just as well as they serve us. In her book Simple Secrets to a Beautiful Home: Creating a Place You and Your Family Will Love Emily Barnes says:

                        Welcome home! That’s what I want my life to say to everyone whose path crosses mine. I want to create an atmosphere of serenity and joy, of blessing and belonging, that embraces people (myself included) and draws them in—an atmosphere that makes them feel loved and special and cared for. (page. 9)

Does this welcome and service require a little more of us? Certainly! Is it worth it? Absolutely! A life and home without welcome and service are regrettably missing something that truly enriches life. It’s not always easy to practice hospitality, especially when it feels like a faded practice among others. Nonetheless, I believe in the beauty of opening the doors of my home to guests and will continue to strive to do so. Think of it this way- could we spare one night each month to invite a family to enjoy dinner, dessert or an activity together? That’s only twelve days out of three hundred sixty five. Sounds a little more possible, right?

            But what if our homes are not decorated exactly like we’d want, or we don’t have the right (or enough) pieces to serve or entertain many guests? Then, take a breath and refocus yourself on the people not the possessions. Your guests are there to spend time with you, not necessarily your things. In fact, when they are there don’t even mention what is not as you’d like or how you’d change it if you could. The true lacking in that case is not of a material matter but a personal one. What is it that makes a less than desirable place one you feel compelled to return to time and again? It’s the content and joyful spirit of the person within the home! Strive to be the kind of person who is so content and so delighted in the company of others that everything else is insignificant.

Finally, what if we viewed our homes belonging more to God than us? Would our possessiveness lessen? Would we be less likely to use it as our hole to hide in? I believe God has a plan for each of us and will provide us with means to achieve that purpose. It’s about Him and His glory! That perspective has really influenced my desires for the meaning of my home and the means by which to achieve it. So as I continue unpack boxes and then decorate our space, I know that even if everything doesn’t come together as I have envisioned God does have it all together still! 

Linked up at: Passionate and Creative Homemaking, Our Simple Country Life, The Purposeful Mom, Renewing Housewives, Homemaker By Choice, Fingerprints on the Fridge, Your Thriving Family, Thankful Homemaker, Growing Home, Time-Warp Wife, Women Living Well

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Revisiting "Celebrating the Season with Thankfulness"

Originally posted 11-18-2011. Contains revisions to make it appropriate for this year. 

       November is here and now is the time that everyone seems to be sharing their participation in a "30 Days of Thanksgiving" gratitude activity. Last year, I was all excited to join in as well. I had intentions for each day to list, photograph and share an area of thankfulness to focus on for the day. Well, I believe I made it to day 3. The ideas from various sources for acknowledging gratitude were wonderful. However, they weren't my own and as such didn't strike a personal cord within me. Moreover, I felt like I needed something more than the words "thank you." How do I truly experience gratitude? Act on it.

        After that experience, I decided to compile my own list of activities. I believe it is important to define "Thanksgiving" as a season of celebration and not just a two hour meeting for stuffing belllies and entering food comas. Moreover, I feel as though thanksgiving should be more than a daily statement made one month each year. It's a year-long, life-long attitude that is so deeply seeded in my life that my life reflects gratitude beyond my words. The following is what I came up with for last year. As I look over the list again this year I'm refreshed and encouraged to strive towards making these aspect more apart of life, both now during the Thanksgiving season and through the upcoming new year. There may be areas that need to be altered a bit or changed entirely, but that's okay because the idea is to always be discovering new ways to be thankful and reflect that attitude. 


1) I stumbled across this pattern for a calendar at Everyday Celebrations. I plan to make a few changes though. I would like one which would be year-round so that I can also fill the pockets with ways to appreciate other seasons or holidays. So, the colors will be those in my home's color scheme and the title will be changed to say, "Enjoy the Moments." Having the pattern as a base will make it much simpler to create and personalize!

2) I wanted my list to focus on three areas:

Express Thanks= 10         Express Giving=10          Come Together=10

1. Express thanks for good neighbors. Invite a neighbor to tea/coffee/dinner. If you don’t know your neighbor, then introduce yourself (be sure to include your gratitude for them!)

2. Make Java Chip Pumpkin bread* loaves and share a loaf with someone who is usually under appreciated. 
             *Java Chip Pumpkin Bread= 1 box quick pumpkin bread + chocolate chips + replace 
                  water with coffee.

3. Discuss how you can serve a family or person specifically over the holidays

4. Express thanks for relationships (friends/family) so close that the distance doesn’t even seem present. Call, write, or contact them in any way to express gratitude for them and your relationship. It could be a character quality, something that was done, favorite memory, or the impact they’ve had one you.

5. Create a Blessing Bag to keep in your car and offer to homeless individuals you encounter.

6. Have a family game night. Before each turn name a blessing.

7. Express thanks to a veteran for their courage and sacrifice. Write a letter** to someone currently serving. Greet and talk with someone you see while out today.

           ** Day 7: Letter to Soldiers- multiple sites to allow participation. Letters to Soldiers, &
                Soldiers Angels are two that I found just by doing a quick Google search.

8. Leave a cashier with a bit of a payment towards the next person. (You will need to place a rubberband or clip around it with a note or something designating it as such. Don’t want to get the cashier in trouble for having money lying around out of the drawer!)

9. Enjoy the beautiful fall foliage during a family walk/hike.

10. Express thanks to the Lord for the day. Some days just seem like they shouldn’t have even been attempted. Nonetheless, each and every day is a gift. Write Psalm 118:24 on a notecard and place by your alarm clock for when you rise. Then, stick it in your pocket or somewhere visible to be reminded of it throughout the day.

11. Leave a generous tip. Next time you’re at a restaurant leave a generous tip with a compliment on the receipt. If there is a tip jar, then leave a little more than just your change.

12. Munch on popcorn while enjoy a movie together (Charlie Brown holiday films!)

13.  Express thanks for the quiet times. Rise early and put some coffee or tea to brew. Spend extra moment with the Lord and in thought of ways to live out your gratitude during the day.

14. Offer a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. So often poor attitudes cause poor support systems (ie friendships!). Call or meet up with a friend to simply listen.

15. Use Thanksgiving Box Of Questions during dinnertime. (I haven't personally used these, but I love conversation cards!).

16. Express thanks for the good in life. Critical and negative perspectives are nearly impossible to escape. Have you become a perpetuator? Determine today to examine your words and heart to only allow that which is follows Philippians 4:8 to permeate your environment.

17. Grocery shop specifically with the intention of donating the entire bag. (Many grocery stores offer donation boxes or packages for purchase).

18. Review the story of the first Thanksgiving. Why did they want to observe a time of thanks? What is the significance of the holiday today?

19. Express thanks for your husband. When did we begin to see him with a critical (disrespectful) eye more than a grace giving (loving) eye? Challenge yourself today to not only speak well of him, but to think such as well! Praise him! Believe in him! Respect him!

20. Delight a child by taping change to a vending machine (bouncing balls, gum balls etc)

21. Capture with your camera the various things throughout the day you’re thankful for.

22. Express thanks to God for his provision. Stress can easily mound when it appears that there is more going out financially than coming in. Yet, when all is said and done there was somehow enough. Do we have shelter? Clothing? Food? Support from others? Our notion of provision and the Lord’s may look different, but one thing that is certain is that He is faithful in His promise to provide for us. Trust Him to do so. Thank Him for already doing so.

23. Graciously relieve someone of one of their responsibilities.

24.  Revisit the family photo album and travel back to previous Thanksgiving celebrations. What was your favorite memory of those times?

25. Express thanks for all those that God places in our paths. Some individuals and experiences will build us up, while others will refine us. Remember Romans8:28. Choose to recognize the good that came from our interactions and experiences. Make an effort to be kind today, even when someone we encounter appear to be “tearing us down.”

26. Visit with someone who may be lonely. The best way to combat a feeling of loneliness in ourselves is to remove that feeling from someone else. Nursing homes and hospitals are a great place to start. Don’t stop there though. Think outside the box. Is there anyone that lives alone? Spends evenings alone (spouse works night shift)? New to the area? Etc etc.

27. Everyone share what is their favorite aspect of the holiday season. What activities/traditions added meaning or joy, and which ones detracted from it? What would each person like to include this year?

28. Express thanks for God creating you to be..you. We are his workmanship. He carefully crafted us into being. What we perceive as flaws may be a part of God’s special design for us. Remember  that He created us to be as we are in order to fulfill His purposes for our lives, not our own. It’s easy to compare ourselves to others and see shortcomings. Snap a photo of yourself and on the back of the printed picture write ways in which God sees you.    

29. Spending time with family often times requires a road trip. Make the stress of traveling a little lighter by obtaining a gift card for gas. Next time you’re at the pump, tape the card with a little note to it. (I would say hand the card to someone nearby, but I have a hard time imagining people accepting a gift nowadays).

30. Prepare a meal together. It can be the actual Thanksgiving meal, a side, or just a weeknight dinner. “Too many cooks in the kitchen” is a complete falsity. I say the more the merrier! Divide the work and each embrace the opportunity to serve each other in preparing the meal.

Additional Resources:
 Random Acts of Kindness - Page with numerous ideas for simple acts of kindness.
Homeword 30 Days of Thanksgiving - Page with great ideas for areas of thankfulness.
Give Thanks Countdown Cards- Cards to accompany calendar pattern from Everyday Celebrations
Positively Present's 30 Photo Challenge on Gratitude- 30 days of capturing in film areas of gratitude.

      I hope to create a similar list with the same three areas of focus for the Christmas season (and likely subsequent seasons as well). I'll try to get a photo when I can get the calendar and cards completed.

     As for now, I pray that it will encourage you to determine in what ways you would like to focus this holiday season. This list is what is fitting for our family. I encourage you to take some time to think through creating a list to make it yours :)

Linked up at: Don't Waste Your Homemaking, Growing Home, Far Above Rubies, Women Living Well, Raising Homemakers, Raising Mighty Arrows, Our Simple Country Life, Maxabella Loves, The Gypsy Mama, Time Warp Wife, Thankful Homemaker, Growing Home, Time-Warp Wife, Women Living Well

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Managing a Small Kitchen

                                           

      After having lived in and looked at many apartments, I've come to the conclusion that the designers must expect apartment dwellers to eat out instead of cook. The typical apartment kitchen is unreasonably small! My husband and I, however, spend a considerable amount of time in the kitchen preparing meals. For us, the first room we look at in a unit is the kitchen. Our requirements are that it must be open on at least two sides (closed on three results in a very hot environment with little ventilation) and enough counter top space to house our oversized stand mixer and microwave as well as provide adequate working space. As far as storage is concerned that is where we are more flexible by allowing creativity to make up for limitations. The following is a few ideas for how to manage in a small kitchen. If you're working with a larger space, then some of these ideas may not be appropriate for you.  As part of the Home Sweet Apartment Series, though, we're focusing solely on small kitchen solutions. 

1) Determine Your Most Necessary Tools

      There are an exaggerated number of kitchen gadgets and tools. Many of these items are single purpose and can be replace by a simple knife. When selecting kitchen tools, select items which will either be used a lot or can be used for multiple purposes. I recently determined that the inner basket of my salad spinner (an item we use weekly) doubles as a colander, thereby eliminating the need to have both of theses items. Another example is our mandolin that has multiple blades for multiple cutting purposes. I originally had a box grater and another smaller grater, but then decided that the mandolin could accomplish the same result. I now just have the one tool instead of three. Instead of a large drying rack, I simply spread a towel across the counter on which to set the clean dishes to dry.  As you work more and more in your kitchen you'll discover which tools are important for your cooking and which can be excluded. 
     Of the tools you do have, choose a collapsible option whenever possible. The ability of an item to collapse has become one of my favorite features. There are more and more items being produced with this space saving feature in mind. They may be a little pricier upfront, but not near as expensive as having to pay extra rent to have extra space just for storage. 

Collapsible Produce Keeper

                    

                              Collapsible Cake Carrier

                                    

Collapsible Prep Bowl Set

     Large 3-Compartment Eco Silicone Collapsible Lunch Box

                          

2) Create Counter Top Space By Simply Clearing It Off

        Counter top space is so valuable! Not only does items left sitting out decrease your working space, but it also creates visual clutter causing your kitchen to look even smaller. Chose the items that you cannot move easily to store elsewhere (stand mixer, microwave etc) to leave out. There are also items like spice racks, utensil holder, knife block and canister sets that are typically seen on the counter tops. There are a couple of things to keep in mind when displaying these items. For instance, spices will remain fresher longer in cooler, darker spaces. The kitchen environment can be a sticky, greasy place and so utensils are ideally best kept covered. As far as canister sets go, there is usually not so great a kitchen space that pulling them out of a cabinet is too inconveniencing.  Nonetheless, if you use it often, like it a lot, or the other cook in your home enjoys it's place on the counter then select a couple of your most used items and limit the display to those.

3) Maximize Freezer Space With Storage Systems

         You can read more on my organization system for maximizing freezer space in a previous post, but I will try to offer a small bit of that again. I really enjoy having a wide variety of items in my freezer. I also enjoy not having to dig for it when I need it. One way that we make a small freezer work is that we don't have bulky boxes of prepared food to store. I freeze everything flat in measured serving portions in pint bags. Since there is only two of us in our family, each pint bag contains only two servings of meat, vegetable, soup etc. Because the bags are flat once frozen, then stack upright nicely in the two-tiered sliding basket  system. I simply grab the item I need when I need it and have no worries about digging or thawing too much. Items that don't store flat are kept in the middle with a shelving rack. Lastly, I turned off the automatic ice maker and removed the bucket in preference for much smaller ice trays.                                                                                              

                                       

4) Get Creative With Storage

         Our home canned items are stored on top of the cabinets. They are up and out of the way while still fittingly displayed. The cabinets on the opposite side store our empty canning jars. A word of caution for this storage solution is that cabinets can fall so be careful with putting too much weight up there. 

          You can also use the space on top of the refrigerator for storage. Choose more attractive displays than cereal boxes, though. We keep one of our produce bowls there and a decorative basket that is used to house extra placemats, aprons, and pot holders. 

          Lastly, kitchen items don't have to be kept entirely in the kitchen. If you have a dining room, then it's perfectly appropriate to use that space as well. A cubed storage shelf or bookshelf nicely decorated with your extra napkins, drinks, dry goods etc. is a great addition to the room. Plus, the top surface can be used to sit coffee or tea pots or as a service area for guests (snack bar, desert bar etc). If you're really squeezed for pantry space in the kitchen itself, then use a full size bookshelf unit and clear, labeled jars for your dry goods. The key to keeping it from looking cluttered is to make it a decorative display in addition to storage, and maintain a cohesive look between the items. 

Take advantage of open spaces like above your sink. I have a piece of elastic that I can string across to clip bags to dry, a verse or word of encouragement to read over as I wash dishes, or a recipe card to reference while cooking. When not needed, I can simply slip the line off the hooks on each side and place it out of sight. 

5) Limit Your Pantry

        Our pantry looks rather bare in comparison to some, but we have everything we need to prepare two to three full meals each day. We do this by limiting our pantry to the basics: sugars, flours, oats, cornmeal, grits/polenta, cornstarch, pastas ect. We buy mostly fresh foods, and then create from scratch anything else we need. The result is our entire pantry cummulatively fitting on about five small shelves (including spices). Since we cook a lot from scratch we don't limit ourselves in having a large selection of spices. We have a three tier shelf and two swivel shelves for all our spices.  The swivel shelves are fabulous because they utilize vertical space and swing out so that I have easy access to everything. The larger packaged items are stored on the tiered shelf to the left. 

       While we're discussing the pantry, I have really enjoyed having labeled containers for items I keep on hand at all times. They are uniform in size and easily stack which are so valuable in small spaces. Setting up a pantry with containers can be expensive, however. Keep in mind that you don't have to go out and buy every container for every item at once. In fact, it's wiser to wait a bit to learn what you use enough to keep and how much of it you will want to keep. There are actually a handful of items in my pantry that are on the waiting list for containers. It's okay to organize piece by piece, and when you're working through establishing steady financial ground this is precisely what you want to do. Add a piece when you can and in the meanwhile enjoy what's already there.     

Read Other Posts in the Home Sweet Apartment Series:
*Homemaking While Apartment Living: Part 1, Part 2
*Concepts For Small Space Living
*Floral Wreath Tutorial

Linked up at: A Mama's Story, The Alabaster Jar, Homestead Revival, The Better Mom, What Joy Is Mine, The Modes Mom Blog, Covered in Grace, Raising Arrows, Time-Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies, Thankful Homemaker, A Pause on the Path, Cornerstone Confessions, Women Living Well, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Deep Roots At Home, Raising Homemakers, We Are THAT Family


*Note:The product links and images above may contain affiliate links to Amazon.com. Reviving Homemaking is an affiliate of Amazon.com, and as such receives compensation for each purchase made through the links.  

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