Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Guilt for Homemaking?

     My husband returns from another long day and I can see on his face the exhaustion and stress from the work take it's toll.  His eyes crease and darken a little more than before. His words fall silent and his attention drifts as he begins the process of trying to cope and transition from work to home. My heart aches to ease his burden.
     I should be sharing that burden, shouldn't I? I begin to examine my contribution in providing for us. I cry out to him with the repeated lies I had been taught to believe. In my heart I knew them to be false, but here I sit toying with them nonetheless. "I must work and bring home a paycheck as well." I have been taught the societal demand for the role of the provider and duty of work falling to both spouses. My examples have been for the household to consist of two paychecks going into two seperate accounts to cover two indepent sets of expenses. Under this assumption I am, indeed, guilty for not pulling my weight or dumping on my husband to provide exclusively.
       I revisit the passage in Genesis following the fall where God divides the consequence between male and female. Genesis 3:17-19 says:
           And to the man he said, "Since you listened to your wife and ate from the
           tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because
           of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow
           thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat
           of your brow you will have food to eat until you return ot the ground from
           which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will
To the woman he says, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you" (Genesis 3:16). The divison appears rather clear. The labor of work or the labor of childbearing is painful and strenuous, but it is a consequence of the fall. Even as such, they can serve to sanctify us if we will allow ourselves to praise Him during the good times and bad times in life. Rereading this passage as it applies to the weight of work lifts the pity out of the situation, and instead allows me to consider the potential for wholeheartedly serving Him. God is good.
     David gently brings me back to this understanding as he assures me he willingly accepts his duty as my husband to work and provide for his family. With patient words he rebukes and clarifies the falsities which attempt to cloud the truth in my heart.  He assures me that my work within the home does ease his burdens by making things easier and more enjoyable for him. He doesn't have to come home or wake to an empty house, eat meals alone, or interact with me only on occasion. It's those little moments which serve to uplift the spirit and bless. We both fully understand and accept that that is far more valuable than a paycheck. I'm so grateful for God's gift of this man to me!
     The demand for each spouse to offer a paycheck as means of contribution is to deny value of the home or family. Provision extends far beyond financial means. It also involves providing a loving home and security in family. Homemaking as a means of providing for my home and family is not a guilt-ridden matter, but one I'm continuously learning and loving.


  1. Is there any way to subscribe to your blog? I was trying to but don't see a link for it?

  2. Hey Jasmine! Thanks for the comment and following! I didn't even realize there wasn't a spot to select to follow. I've added a "followers" section to the left of the page. :)

  3. Whitney, I just found your blog by reading your comment to Lori Alexander. My heart just went out to you when you stated that you would love to have older women teach you but that there aren't any you would want to follow. And also your comment that within the church you weren't supported concerning family and homemaking. You just keep on following God and be obedient to his word. I just know God will be sending encouragement through your blog and will support you as you follow him. I am 48 years old and next month we will celebrate 30 years of marriage. Honestly, you might not want to "follow" me either. So many mistakes and regrets. However, I DO know SOMEONE worth following and we can walk arm and arm following Jesus Christ! Keep on keeping on!


  4. Whitney, I too have struggled with finding that older Titus 2 woman! I think I'll just email you :)



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