Book Series: Women Living Well - Chapter 14

I'

I'm Gonna Blow My Top!

     I'm in constant pursuit of the kind of woman, wife and mama I want to be. A central characteristic to this goal is the desire to not be angry or temperamental. As a mama, I'm conscientious of how my words and demeanor towards my son will remain with him. Peggy O'Mara has said, "The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice." Yet, I'm realistic in knowing that as he grows and explores his independence there will probably come moments in which I will resonate with the title of this chapter and feel like "I'm going to blow my top!"

      Courtney provided an interesting bit of research. She reports that "Research has shown that when a parent raises his or her voice at a child, a defense mechanism kicks in that helps the child emotionally protect him- or herself by tuning out what you are actually saying" (pg. 142). It would seem that the greater emphasis given to words the greater the understanding. However, a child actually comes to lesser understanding. It's easy to see how a child who has received harsh words withdraws instead of gains wisdom. (If learning does occur it is the result of fear, which inhibits a healthy parent-child relationship). 

      She then provides wonderful counsel to maintaining gentleness in parenting. She writes, "We must control our tempers and intentionally smile more, hug more, slow down, listen, and take a deep breath. When we feel like screaming, whisper instead. Pray, Pray, and then pray some more" (pg. 144).She also suggests to meditate on the fruit of the spirit, but I think reading and meditating on all God's Word is vital to parenting. Proper parenting cannot rely on instinct (or reading parenting books) alone. It must be entirely dependent on God. I really enjoyed how she provides the reminder to pray continuously in the above quote. I'm learning more and more how valuable it is to turn the the Lord immediately in those moments of bitterness, anger and any other upset. I need that in my life, and my child needs to see that in me as well!

      Will moments in which I lose my temper occur during my parenting? Of course. (Especially when I'm exhausted or stressed- two significant triggers for me personally). The importance is not to excuse my behavior, but to learn from those mistakes and constantly strive for greater character. I must be intentional and proactive. I must also lean on the Lord at all times!

      

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*Note: Reviving Homemaking is not an affiliate of www.womenlivingwell.org or the publishing companies (Thomas Nelson & HarperCollins Christian Publishing). No compensation has been received by either of these entities for the review of the book. All opinions are my own. 

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What is something you wish you had learned to do before getting married or having children? Why?

(Your name (first name + last initial) and comment may be used in the upcoming Reviving Homemaking ebook. If you wish for your name to not be included, then please simply use "anonymous" or "guest." Thank you for your input!)

Book Series: Women Living Well- Chapter 13

Motherhood Mess-Ups

    There was a time in my life in which I didn't allow myself to desire having children because I was too afraid of messing up and producing an adult who still struggled with his/her upbringing. Then, as time passed I grew more confident and secure in God, my marriage and myself. The desire for children became strong. Yet, even while pregnant with Tennyson I wondered if I could do this motherhood role. I still have many moments in which I mess up personally and as a wife. How would I be as a mother? This child will look to me for guidance and steadfast love, and those are two very weighty responsibilities. Fear. Fear of messing up in motherhood.. yeah, I've been there. 

      Fear can serve two purposes- hold us back or push us forward. I would like to think that my fear of messing up in motherhood motivates me to strive harder. When a day seems to progress two steps behind and he's fussy as a result, then the next day I work harder to be more disciplined at following our routine/schedule (which works wonders!). When I find myself wondering if we're getting enough play in the day, then I look up additional ideas for us for the next day. 

      Perhaps the greatest mess-up potential, though, is in regard to how I present myself. Children begin learning at a very early age how to respond to situations based on their parents' example (ie your stress or anger will likely coincide with a fussy baby). Courtney is absolutely correct when she says, "My children will only be as disciplined with their emotions as I am with mine." Am I emotionally calm or reactive? Does how I present myself convey steadfast love? An infant's developmental task is to establish trust, and an emotional roller coaster inhibits that progress. Fear can quickly take over, but because I recognize these things I'm, instead,  motivated each day to work towards self-control and presenting myself in an manner appropriate for guiding a child in life.  

      I'm learning more and more the necessity of depending on the Lord. I liked how Courtney discussed the importance of a prayer in one's mothering- prayer for oneself as a mama and one's child. She writes, "I love parenting books and have read many, but none of them can replace the prayer of a mother for her child (pg. 137). I also love parenting books, but these can only get me so far. I need faith most of all in my parenting. I enjoy our Mama & Tennyson walks each morning as they provide a wonderful opportunity for prayer.

Using Joshua 1:9 ("Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (BibleGateway) ) as a springboard, pen a prayer here begging God to help you in the midst of the mess that is often motherhood. Then, believe that He will do it. Believe that He is always with you every step of the way!

Follow link to download a copy of the series schedule

*Note: Reviving Homemaking is not an affiliate of www.womenlivingwell.org or the publishing companies (Thomas Nelson & HarperCollins Christian Publishing). No compensation has been received by either of these entities for the review of the book. All opinions are my own. 

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Join Reviving Homemaking on Facebook!

Visit the Reviving Homemaking Etsy Shop!

Follow Reviving Homemaking on Pinterest!

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-Question for YOU!-*-*-*-*-*-*-

What is something you wish you had learned to do before getting married or having children? Why?

(Your name (first name + last initial) and comment may be used in the upcoming Reviving Homemaking ebook. If you wish for your name to not be included, then please simply use "anonymous" or "guest." Thank you for your input!)