Hospitality is
the gracious welcome of individuals into one’s home. The practice aids in
instilling meaning into the home by opening it to be a place of ministry and
welcome to others. The comfortable setting of the home is ideal for sharing and
building relationships in life. The benefits to practicing hospitality are
numerous, but yet so are the barriers. In fact, it’s the barriers that get
primary attention. Though I believe in
incorporating hospitality into my home and family, I still battle with fears
and insecurities. These emotions burden the hospitality effort, and eventually
manifest in the form of excuses such as having no one to invite, inadequate
accommodations, inconvenience, expense and inability to be entertaining.
The first barrier
to hospitality is in the form of a question: “Who do I invite?” Begin by
inviting individuals known well or that share some known commonalities. This
approach will provide a starting point. As hospitality becomes a more common in
life, then so with the ease at which it is conducted. At that point, inviting
and conversing individuals with whom you are less familiar will become easier. Set
a goal of choosing one family to invite each month. Can you think of just
twelve contacts you have in your life? Who do you know well and would enjoy
greater time together? Who do you know on an acquaintance level that you could
invite to begin a greater level of friendship? Perhaps even a family member
could be your guest. Should it not be ordinary to invite a sibling, aunt, uncle
or cousin to be a part of your home and family? Choose one individual or
family, muster up your courage, and simply ask.
It would seem
that the size of the guest list must be equal to the accommodations available in
the home, but this is not necessarily the case. Always remember that people are greater than possessions. Paper plates and cups can
supplement the dishes in the cabinets. Floor cushions or kitchen chairs can be
used to increase seating in the living room. Spread a vinyl tablecloth or
large plastic on the floor, and allow any children to
have a picnic. Whatever the issue may be, there is a way to solve it by keeping
the focus on people.
Another
hospitality barrier is the matter of convenience. Opening the home in hospitality
and connecting with others requires time and effort, which are often so tightly
squeezed in the many activities in life. However, some of the greatest or most
meaningful moments in life are also highly inconvenient, yet are absolutely
worthy of the investment. Convenience isn’t
everything, but relationships are! Life is enriched by relationships, and
so is the home and family. We all have a
need for connectedness, and this effort is worthy of enduring some
inconvenience. The potential strain and stress of hospitality within the home
can be lessened by planning. Make a list of all tasks that need to be
accomplished, and then divide them among the time available. The goal is to not
get caught making all preparations just prior to your guests’ arrival. You’re
family and guests will have little appreciation for hospitality if you become a
nervous-wreck trying to get it all together at the last moment. Second, the
most important aspect to remember is to keep it simple. There is no need to make a grand meal or fuss
every time. Pasta dishes are easy and
enjoyed by everyone. During warm weather, serve a large salad. Soups are
fantastic for cold weather (plus they can be cooked or kept warm in a slow
cooker!). Hospitality is not about impressing guests, but blessing them.
The
temptation to impress guests can also be seen in the attempt at making each
moment together entertaining. Determining activity or conversation can be a
challenge, especially if the host is naturally shy or introverted (that’s me!).
The greatest resource for learning what to do is to take notes when you are
invited to others’ homes. If conversation is an issue, come up with a few
guest-oriented questions or topics ahead of time. You may not need them, but if
you get in an awkward silence then you have a back-up. I recently picked up the idea of a comedy video as a great activity. A shared movie night can also but fun, but keep in mind that staring at
the screen leaves little opportunity for interaction. My favorite activity is
playing games. There are so many fantastic group games available! The more
hospitality is practiced, the more ideas there will be to draw on.
Even with
aforementioned hurdles jumped, there remains one really big concern- expense.
Hospitality does not and should not have to cause a financial strain on your family.
This can occur, however, when the focus becomes distant from the heart of the
effort. Again, keep it simple! Use the accommodations that are already in your
home, make economical meals, and allow a joyful spirit in you be that which is
attractive. A really fun meal idea that spreads the cost around is to create a
theme for the gathering. For instance, invite guests to a “Make your own pizza
night!” You supply the crusts and sauce, and then each guest brings his/her
favorite toppings. Trying everyone else’s favorite is a fun way to have plenty
of pizza varieties (not to mention that you didn’t have to purchase each
ingredient on your own). Themes can be to “make your own: baked/mashed
potatoes, nachos/tacos, hot chocolate, ice cream, chili, chocolate/cheese
fondue etc.” Toss out the idea of hospitality having to be fancy, and just have
fun! It is possible to practice hospitality without going broke.
Hospitality is a
worthy endeavor to begin incorporating in life. If you weren’t raised in a home
that practiced hospitality or if your own home has come to have closed doors,
then resolve to take steps today to open them even if those steps are small. Even if fears and insecurities persist, they don't have to become the root to excuses for avoiding hospitality. Hospitality can come to easily incorporate the simple invitation of friends and family, adequate accommodations, convenience, less expense and less pressure to be able to be entertaining. The heart of hospitality is about connecting and deepening relationships with others.
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Lou Priolo asserts that love is the antidote of selfishness. He contends, “The more you love God and your neighbor, the less selfish (sinful) you will be.” We glorify God in how well we truly love others. A rotten attitude defeats the goal of glorifying God through hospitality.
