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I'm Gonna Blow My Top!
I'm in constant pursuit of the kind of woman, wife and mama I want to be. A central characteristic to this goal is the desire to not be angry or temperamental. As a mama, I'm conscientious of how my words and demeanor towards my son will remain with him. Peggy O'Mara has said, "The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice." Yet, I'm realistic in knowing that as he grows and explores his independence there will probably come moments in which I will resonate with the title of this chapter and feel like "I'm going to blow my top!"
Courtney provided an interesting bit of research. She reports that "Research has shown that when a parent raises his or her voice at a child, a defense mechanism kicks in that helps the child emotionally protect him- or herself by tuning out what you are actually saying" (pg. 142). It would seem that the greater emphasis given to words the greater the understanding. However, a child actually comes to lesser understanding. It's easy to see how a child who has received harsh words withdraws instead of gains wisdom. (If learning does occur it is the result of fear, which inhibits a healthy parent-child relationship).
She then provides wonderful counsel to maintaining gentleness in parenting. She writes, "We must control our tempers and intentionally smile more, hug more, slow down, listen, and take a deep breath. When we feel like screaming, whisper instead. Pray, Pray, and then pray some more" (pg. 144).She also suggests to meditate on the fruit of the spirit, but I think reading and meditating on all God's Word is vital to parenting. Proper parenting cannot rely on instinct (or reading parenting books) alone. It must be entirely dependent on God. I really enjoyed how she provides the reminder to pray continuously in the above quote. I'm learning more and more how valuable it is to turn the the Lord immediately in those moments of bitterness, anger and any other upset. I need that in my life, and my child needs to see that in me as well!
Will moments in which I lose my temper occur during my parenting? Of course. (Especially when I'm exhausted or stressed- two significant triggers for me personally). The importance is not to excuse my behavior, but to learn from those mistakes and constantly strive for greater character. I must be intentional and proactive. I must also lean on the Lord at all times!
*Note: Reviving Homemaking is not an affiliate of www.womenlivingwell.org or the publishing companies (Thomas Nelson & HarperCollins Christian Publishing). No compensation has been received by either of these entities for the review of the book. All opinions are my own.
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